


Not Alone

by Mythoriel



Category: The Shannara Chronicles (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:17:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9996722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythoriel/pseuds/Mythoriel
Summary: Haven't read the books, love the show. But Allanon and the princess didn't seem to have chemistry. It seemed like a super tragic one way thing. And we all know we saw Allanon's O-face when he gets the book out of the wall in Ep2. Felt like he'd only ever really respect an equal and was full of himself enough to think he was the last Druid. And I hated his hubris and how he didn't take responsibility for Bandon so I worked that in too.





	1. Chapter 1

With the Ellcrys restored and the demon army contained, Allanon wanted to locate Bandon before his powers grew and he harmed anyone else. He’d hoped to ask Wil to come with him, but Wil was determined to find Eretrea. He would need more time to come around as a Druid. It would have been nice to have Wil’s support in hunting for Bandon, but Allanon thought he could handle the untrained boy.

He had a feeling the darkness in Bandon would call him to the Breakline where the demon army had gathered. He’d watch for any villages that reported trouble from a young man. A few days out from Arborlon, he came across a tent set up alongside the road.

He tied his horse to a nearby tree and looked around the tent for the owners.

“Hello?” he called out.

“Come on in,” a woman answered from inside.

The thick hide walls kept the interior cool and dark. A handful of candles sat on tables around the room, creating a calm atmosphere. A middle aged woman was washing her hands at a basin and smiled at him. “Go ahead and sit down. One copper for a standard reading, two for each question answered.”

He tried to read her mind and was surprised to find it blocked. “You’re a fortune-teller?” he asked.

She sat down across from him at the table and set a candle between them. “I will give you that answer for free. Yes, I am Merry, the fortune teller. Would you like your fortune told?”

Allanon was interested to see the extent of her self-taught powers. He set a coin on the table and relaxed the guard he normally kept around his mind.

“Give me your hand. A standard reading is one piece of good news and one piece of bad news.” She traced lines on his hands with a light touch and studied his palm in the candlelight. “Your lifeline is very long, but it has many gaps.” She looked up at him knowingly and back down to his hand. “You are searching for… two people. You will find them both, but you will be disappointed both times.”

“How will I be disappointed?”

“Two coins for questions,” she reminded him.

He sighed heavily and dropped the coins on the table. She smiled back at him. “The woman is not interested in coming with you, and the boy will not be tamed.”

“Do you know who I am?”

She leaned back, a smile in her eyes. “Anyone who has heard the old tales can recognize the Druid Allanon from his brands.”

“And are you aware your fortune telling is magic?”

“No!” she said in mock surprise. “Of course. I’ve been quietly developing it for decades. But hush. If the locals find out, they’re likely to burn me as a demon-lover.”

“How do you explain your abilities, then?”

She took his hand again and stroked his palm. “They’re more accepting of things that simply are. They’ll believe a great power wrote their lives on their hands or that tea leaves move in the current of the universe. I’ll even predict incorrectly sometimes, to make my gift more believable. No one is perfect.”

“I didn’t come here to find you.”

She shrugged. “A Druid walks into my tent, I thought it was a safe prediction.”

“I may not have been looking for you, but fate crossed our paths. I need to restore the Druid Order and I need to gather anyone with magical gifts.”

“I’ve already told you that you’re going to be unsuccessful with the two you have in mind. The blonde elf boy, he is your best hope.”

“Why wouldn’t you be interested in becoming a Druid? I can teach you more about your gifts. Your destiny is greater than begging for copper coins in a drafty tent.”

“Anyone who has heard the old tales knows that Druids take more than they give.” She looked at him thoughtfully and said, “Try to convince me. Tell me why my life would be better as a Druid, but you cannot use the words “destiny” or “duty.””

He was distracted by her smug look, and in fact the speech he’d been preparing all day did rely heavily on those words. She chuckled as he struggled to come up with something.

“I am perfectly happy in my drafty tent, Sir Druid.” She looked him over and said, “It is getting late. You may stay the night. I’ll start dinner if you’ll chop more wood for me.” She left him at the table to open the back of the tent, revealing a small cauldron hanging from a tripod over a dying fire just outside.

Allanon was growing hungry, and he decided he could use the time to work on a better argument. He found a small felled tree shortened by several feet and an ax near it. He reached his hand out and the tree started to glow red.

“Hey! Stop that!”

The glow died and he turned, puzzled. “Didn’t you say you wanted firewood?”

“Don’t use magic. If someone saw you, we’d both be in trouble.”

“I can protect you from any trouble.”

“These are honest people. Would you kill a frightened farmer just because you can’t go ten minutes without showing off? Pick up that ax or I’m not feeding you.”

Allanon growled a low sigh and hung his coat and shirt on a nearby tree. He picked up the ax and started dividing logs and then splitting them on the flattened stump. He saw the woman carry pails of water from the creek to the cauldron.

About an hour later, the scents from the stew was making his mouth water and his back and shoulders were aching, reminding him that until a week ago, he’d been frozen in the Druid Sleep and since waking up, he’d been through a lot.

“Come wash up!” she called, setting out a basin, towel, and water pitcher. “It’s nice and cold from the creek.”

She tried to give him his privacy as he splashed his bare chest and scrubbed his face and hands, but he saw her peeking as she ladled two bowls and set one on a wide log near the fire for him. He smiled to himself and dressed. He may be old, but it was good to know he was still attractive.

The stew was thick and full of vegetables with bits of meat. “What’s in this?”

“Everything I have. And rabbit, of course. Even if I could shoot a deer, there’s no way to bring the meat back to the tent and cure it before it goes bad.”

“If you came with me, I could teach you how to use magic to do those things.”

“I try not to bring attention to myself in this dangerous world. You have quite the target on your back, Sir Druid. You shouldn’t be so eager to draw it on others.”

“There is more to my life than danger and war. Druids protect the four lands. You seem like the sort of woman who would enjoy that.”

“I do help people. I give hope and relieve fears. I also have some skill as a midwife. I have lost my share of babies, but I’ve saved a fair number that would not have survived but for me.”

“How many more could you save if you embraced your gift?”

“I have embraced my gift. I may hide it, but I have nurtured it as long as I’ve had it. I may not be a Druid, but I am fulfilling my destiny all the same.”

“We could have used your help last week when the demon army escaped the Forbidding.”

“Last week you had my help. There wasn’t a village I passed that I didn’t stop and heal those attacked, and not a demon crossed my path that walked away. I have different methods and a different ideology, but I am leaving this world better than I found it.” She looked up in vain at the night sky. Branches were thick above them and blocked all view of the stars. “In the morning I’d like you to leave. You cannot convince me I would do more good locked in the Druids’ Keep studying dusty tomes.” Merry refilled her bowl from the cauldron and entered the tent. She returned with a warm blanket that she passed to Allanon. “Good night.”

“I can’t help but think that you are making a mistake,” he said. “Every Druid I’ve known who resisted the Call struggled in life until they accepted their destiny. There isn’t much choice.”

“I am not struggling, Sir Druid. Perhaps you are the one who has made a mistake. I am not a Druid.” She went back inside and left him alone.

Allanon ate some more and fed the fire, wondering what to do. He felt sure that he had been meant to find her. But if not to convince her to join him, then why? She was strong in her opinion that she was on the right path, and too old and self-assured for him to brow-beat her with authoritative orders, as he had done with Wil and Bandon.

He let the fire die and lay down against the logs to sleep.

In the middle of the night, when the embers were too low to shed any light, he was wakened by voices and shadows being thrown from the far side of the tent. He barely saw the back of the tent open and Merry’s shadowy figure step out.

“You stay put and no magic!” she whispered fiercely and then disappeared back into the tent.

“Witch! Come out!” a man called from the other side of the tent.

Allanon closed his eyes and let the forest show him who was there. Six men, ranging from teenagers to late middle age, were gathered between the road and the front of the tent. Two held swords and four held torches and either pitchforks or clubs. He sensed Merry walk out and he silently slipped inside the tent, making his way to just inside the door flap and extending his swordblade.

“Who wakes an old woman at this hour?” she complained, innocently. “If you have complaints, come back after I’ve had my breakfast.” She turned to go back inside and Allanon stepped aside to stay out of sight.

“You’ll stay put or we’ll burn your evil tent to the ground.”

“Evil tent?” she repeated. “Who ever heard of an evil tent? What did my tent do?”

“It housed your iniquitous dealings.”

“That is a very impressive word. It sounds very serious. What exactly are you unhappy about? Did I tell one of your wives she was having a daughter instead of a son?”

“Get out of my head, witch! She’s reading my mind!”

“Oh, please. That was a guess, at best. I don’t know what your wife will have. There are two options, I’ll either be right or I’ll be wrong. Women sometimes like to have daughters and I thought telling her so would make her happy. Is that truly evil?”

“What of the healing spells?”

“What healing spells? An old woman can’t sing a song to soothe a frightened boy’s nerves while he drinks willow bark tea? Did I make willow bark? That would be very impressive, but I think all the willows were here before I was.”

“She’s a lying hag! Listen not to her treacherous words!”

“A hag?!”

One of the men was approaching her, sword out, so Allanon stepped out of the tent, Druids Fire in his free hand, making his brands glow red in the darkness.

“Shit,” Merry cursed in the stunned silence.

“This woman is under the protection of the Druids. Leave now.”

“Magic!!” the man charged.

“Don’t hurt them!” Merry shouted as she dodged out of the way.

“Are you kidding me?” Allanon shouted back, parrying the strike. She looked serious so he extinguished the Druids Fire and focused on defensive fighting. The others crowded him, trying to overcome him with numbers. But it meant none of them were focused on attacking him and he was able to surprise them with kicks and punches that hurt enough to make them retreat. He was left with the swordsman who’d charged, and was having a hard time finding a nonlethal opening.

Meanwhile, the other swordsman, a boy, had circled around to Merry.

“You don’t have to hurt me,” Merry said, arms outstretched and cautiously backing up. “I haven’t hurt anyone. I’ll leave if that’s what you want.”

“You have powers. They can be used for evil. If we let you go, you’ll hurt someone else.”

“I wouldn’t do that. I promise.” She yelped as she leapt back from a side-swing. She tripped on her skirt and fell to the ground hard. “Please,” she said as the boy raised his sword over her. She crossed her arms over her head and flinched when the sword came down.

Onto Allanon’s blade. He pushed the other sword up and away, knocking the boy off balance. The others were limping away or lying on the ground unconscious. Allanon pointed his sword at the boy and summoned Druidsfire again, his brands glowing as he said, “Leave now.”

This time, the boy obeyed.

Allanon reached out to help Merry up, but she was already on her feet and dusting her skirt off. “What were you thinking?” She scolded. “They were about to go when you burst out, glowing like a six foot firefly.”

“I intervened when it was clear that they weren’t going to leave.” Allanon was annoyed that she was completely unappreciative that he’d saved her life, though he was used to people taking his help for granted by now. But she could have thanked him for going to the effort to keep from harming anyone, per her request.

“I guess we’ll never know now.” Merry huffed over to the ax laying by the tree and threw it blindly inside the tent. Then she started singing under her breath and the tent twitched and started to collapse on itself, folding smaller and smaller until she reached down and lifted a pack onto her back. “Either way, I need to be moving on.” The cauldron and the tripod had also disappeared, but the blanket Allanon had thrown aside when he got up had been too far away to be summoned by her spell. She picked it up after fashioning a torch and lighting it from the embers.

“Here,” she handed the blanket to Allanon. “Keep it. I can never wash man-stink out of them.”

He threw it over his horsepacks and untied his horse to follow her down the road. “Where are you going now?”

“Let me guess, you’re going the same way?” she asked.

“I am,” he said, his eyes smiling. “At least for a little while. Until I know no one will be coming after you.”

“It has been too long since I’ve last seen my grandchildren. Lander is a conservative man, I cannot promise he will be hospitable to you, Sir Druid.”

“You can call me Allanon, if you want.”

“I don’t want to risk forgetting what you are. I might grow fond of you if I thought you were a man.”

“You seem to be very hostile. Did I insult one of your parents during the War of the Races? Did a family member die in the battles and you blame me?”

“My hostility toward you is from your arrogance towards me in the past six hours and your stubbornness now. You could leave me in peace but you choose to follow me.”

“I am not convinced that we are meant to part ways yet. I was guided to you, and I don’t think it was to scare off a handful of farmers.”

“When we reach my son’s home, will you leave?”

“Perhaps. Where does your son live?”

“Green Valley.”

“This will be an interesting week, then.”

“You can say that again,” Merry grumbled under her breath.


	2. Chapter 2

They walked until midday, saying little. Allanon had never been one for small talk, and was used to being coaxed into conversation by his companions. Merry, however, seemed perfectly content to walk in silence, all but ignoring him. 

“Should we stop for a bit?” he finally asked. “I’m sure you’re tired and ready to eat.”

“If the Druid needs a break from riding his horse, he is welcome to take one.” Merry kept on.

“Now who’s the stubborn one? You haven’t eaten or stopped since we left, any human or elf would need to rest by now.”

Merry stopped and faced him. “In truth, I could use a short break. But all my food is inside my tent and it is going to be a mess in there since I packed it hastily. There is an inn about ten more miles away. They have good food and better ale.”

“I have some dried food I can share with you until then.” Allanon took a couple pouches from his saddlebags and handed one to her, amused by the hungry yet begrudging look she gave him before accepting it. 

“Thank you.”

“Allanon,” he said.

Merry shook her head stubbornly and continued walking. She crunched on the honey oats and nuts and immediately spit them out. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. 

She threw the pouch into the trees and continued to spit the little pieces out of her mouth. “Are those thirty years old?” she asked.

He sniffed his pouch and took a small bite. The honey and oats had hardened into small rocks and the nuts were shriveled and soft. The earthy flavor was lasting.

“I’m sorry. These must be the rations I took from Arborlon a week ago. I don’t know how old they are.” He dumped his pouch on the ground and watched Merry scraping her tongue with her sleeve. She caught his eye and froze. Allanon smiled, then started to chuckle, which grew into a mirthful roar. Merry couldn’t help but be infected by him and started to laugh too. 

“I suppose we’ll both be very hungry this evening,” she said. “Do Druids have professions these days?” she asked. “Do you have any coin to pay for your meals?”

“I have some.”

“Good. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s a mooch.”

Allanon wondered how much prices had changed in the last thirty years and how far his coins would go.

“Do you still want to convince me to be a Druid?” she asked as they continued.

“If I can. In truth, I’m not used to finding mages who are so sure they aren’t called to be Druids. Most have had at least some doubt.”

“How did you know you were called?”

“I always had a connection to nature. And sometimes I’d have dreams. I felt there was something missing in my soul and I wasn’t whole yet. It wasn’t until Bremen found me and explained to me what I was that I felt peace. When he started to train me, it was like I’d found the lost part of my soul.”

“I am whole.” Merry said it a little too firmly, as if she may be trying to convince herself.

“There’s no shame in becoming a Druid later in life. There is still that satisfaction, and much to be accomplished. We live longer lives so you don’t have to feel like you’ve missed your chance.”

“I don’t need you to feel accomplished!” she shouted. “I have lived a happy and satisfying life until today. And I will continue until I die. You have nothing to offer me.”

Allanon was sure there was more to her resistance than she was saying and again tried to probe her mind, but if anything, she was more guarded now than the day before. 

Her dark mood continued through the afternoon until they found the inn. Then she sighed with a smile. “Oh, thank the Mother.”

“The Dirty Hog?” He had seen many establishments in his life, and in his experience, the name usually fit.

“Nothing is happier than a muddy pig. Except me. In ten minutes.” She marched in and threw the doors open. “Granny’s back!” she shouted.

“Granny!” a chorus called back. 

She dropped her pack by the door and circled the main room, greeting old friends and meeting new ones. Allanon stabled his horse and stood by the fire to wait for the innkeep to notice him. Soon he realized that those who weren’t chatting with Merry were staring at him. He warmed his hands at the fire and quietly made sure his swordhilt was loose. 

“Is he with you?” The young innkeep asked. 

Merry noticed the tense atmosphere around the Druid and climbed onto the table next to him and addressed the room. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet Allanon, the Last Druid. He fought in the War of the Races thirty years ago and awoke from the Druids’ Sleep in time to fight the Demon Army. I could tell you of his deeds, but my throat, it’s so dry from the road…”

A young man passed her an ale and she raised it to him, “Bless you, my boy.” She drank deeply and told an exciting version of one of his early adventures with Bremen. He sat down at the table and listened, amused at how the story had evolved through the centuries. He was brought roasted pig and bread in the middle of the story, and he thanked the barmaid quietly.

She finished the tale to cheers and applause and plopped down next to Allanon. “You’re welcome,” she said, and stole a piece of his meat.

“What for?” he asked.

“I saved your life. We’re even. They would have skinned you for an outsider, and now you’re a bloody hero.” The barmaid returned with food for Merry. “Thank you, dear. Would you mind getting us more ale?”

“We should probably go easy. Our money needs to last a while.”

“Don’t worry, Sir Mooch. I’ll keep you fed until we reach Green Valley.” Merry winked at him and dug into her food, making Allanon wonder if her temper that day had simply been hunger. She drank heavily and chatted with everyone, it seemed to him. He felt out of place. Though the hostility was gone, he was not quite welcome and had never been charismatic enough to make friends easily. He thought about going to his room, but didn’t want to leave Merry alone. But when he watched how loved she was here, he realized there was no danger. He brushed down his horse and then asked for a room. 

He was wakened from sleep by the door slamming open. He was on his feet, his sword in one hand and Druids’ Fire in the other in an instant. A drunken Merry stood in the doorway, trying to grab the doorknob to close the door. 

She saw the fire and tried to focus on him. “Sorry,” she slurred. “Dinnit mean to wake you.”

He put his weapons away. “That’s fine. Come lay down and I’ll ask for another room.”

Merry managed to close the door and waved her hand wildly to dismiss his suggestion. “I’m not paying for two rooms, Sir Mooch. Let’s just go to bed.” She stumbled over and collapsed on the near side of the bed. After a moment, she dragged herself back up and fumbled with her bootlaces.

Allanon walked over and helped her get her boots off. “Lay down and I’ll sleep on the floor,” he said. 

She blew a loud raspberry and patted his shoulder. “That’s stupid. The bed’s big enough.”

“Are you sure?”

She leaned forward, trying to look more serious, but her eyes crossing ruined the effect. “Druids can’t have sex. I’ll be fine.” She nodded as if that solved everything and lay down again.

He tugged at her sweater to undress her one more layer, and she slapped his hand. “Leave me be,” she muttered, eyes still closed. 

“Alright.” He pulled the blanket over her and moved the wash basin to the floor beside her head. He looked at the bed, less than half of it occupied by the snoring woman and shrugged to himself before climbing back in and turning to face away from her. 

 

Her hand was stroking his belly hair. He woke and realized his hand was on her bum. She was also just waking up and smiled at him as she stretched. 

“We didn’t…” he started to reassure her.

“I know.”

“We must have been cold last night and huddled together in our sleep.”

She smirked at him. “You may have been cold last night, but I know when I’m sharing my bed with an attractive man, drunk or not.” Her breath was still heavy with ale and for a moment as she hovered over him she glanced at his mouth. But he didn’t move and the moment ended with a smile and Merry rolled over to get up. 

“Are you always like this?” he asked.

“Only with good food and good company.” She put her boots back on and stood, rubbing her forehead. “Which becomes rarer as I’ve gotten older. I think there was a whole year in my youth that I lost to ale. I don’t mind losing a night now and again. I’ll go down to the kitchen to wash up. We’ll have breakfast before moving on. See you downstairs.”

Allanon shook his head and got ready. He expected more of a hangover from a woman Merry’s age, but except for mild wincing at loud noises and shading her eyes when the door opened, she didn’t seem to feel many effects. Breakfast was porridge with sausage. 

Merry was cheerful and polite in the inn, but when they began walking again, fell quiet. 

“How well do you remember last night?” he asked.

“Did I say something rude? Clary didn’t mention it, and she loves to tell me what I do when I blackout.”

“How can you be so sure nothing happened between us last night?”

“Besides that I was fully clothed when I woke up?”

“You said Druids can’t have sex.”

Merry laughed loudly. “I think I meant to say they don’t have sex. I’m sorry. Did I insult Sir Druid’s masculinity?”

“What makes you think we don’t have sex?”

“There is not a single Druid romance in all of history. And Bremen was notoriously asexual. I assumed anyone trained by that sackless old man would have had any desire beaten out of him early on.”

“Those rumors are entirely false.”

“So you’ve had sex, then?”

“Of course.”

“When?”

“What do you mean “when”?”

“I want you to tell me about the last time you had sex.”

“That’s a very personal story.”

“Was it more than a week ago?” When Allanon said nothing, she continued. “More than thirty years ago? Fifty? A hundred? Two hundred?”

“The time since isn’t important. Who it was with is what makes it important.”

Merry nodded. “Yes, I suppose if I only had sex once I’d want it to be with someone special.”

“And you? How many men have you slept with?” Allanon accused.

“I can’t count how many men I’ve slept with.” Merry’s face turned thoughtful. “In fact, I can’t remember any of their names except for the two who got me pregnant. But the last time I shared my bed was two weeks ago.”

“And you say you don’t remember his name?”

Merry thought for a moment and shook her head. “Nope. Tell me about your one true love. I’ve heard rumors about you and an elven princess. Was it her?”

“No. Pyria was not my true love.” Allanon grew somber. “I’d rather not discuss it.”

Merry nodded and they continued in silence.


	3. Chapter 3

Merry saw some roses blooming just off the side of the road and climbed down to smell them.

“Come on,” Allanon said from the road. “We’ll never reach Green Valley if we stop for every pretty flower.”

“There’s an ancient saying about stopping to smell the roses,” Merry said, picking several and carrying them back. “It means life is pointless if all we do is worry about where we’re going but don’t enjoy where we are.” She looked at him. “Are all Druids so focused, or is it just you?”

“The best way to reach a goal is to focus completely on it.”

“So if you’d been alone, you would have walked right past these?”

“They are a distraction.”

“Distractions are the best part of life. They make it worth living. Close your eyes.”

Allanon raised an eyebrow, skeptically.

“After sharing a bed, you don’t trust me?”

He sighed and closed his eyes, but let the forest tell him what she was doing. She raised a rose to his face. “Smell.”

He obeyed and the sweet, strong scent made him smile just a little. She ran the petals across his lips and he wondered for a moment if her lips were as soft as the rose petals. He opened his eyes to see her smiling at him. 

“Surely that was worth the distraction?” She handed him the rose and turned back to the road and froze. 

He looked up and saw a cloaked figure blocking their path. He reached out with his mind and recognized the chaos of Bandon’s mind. Allanon dropped the rose and his horse’s reins and reached for his sword. Bandon raised a hand and lifted Merry into the air and threw her against a tree. She crumpled to the ground and didn’t move. 

“No!” Allanon shouted and charged at Bandon. 

Dark lightning flew from Bandon’s fingers. Allanon tried to block them with his sword, but was struck several times by the flickering tongues and fell to his knees. 

“I’ve learned a few tricks these past few days,” Bandon said as he walked closer, arm still outstretched. “I thought it best to find you before you gathered your strength and found me. It looks as though I was right.”

Lightning raced from his hand again and Allanon lifted his hand to try to reflect the bolts. Merry stepped between them with a staff in her hands freshly drawn from the tree she had struck. She blocked the lightning with a white shield centered on the staff. Her back and arms glowed beneath her clothes and white lightning arced back from where the dark lightning struck. One white tongue touched Allanon and he felt rejuvenated. Bandon grimaced and poured more power into his attack. 

Merry’s hands were in the center of the staff. She slowly separated them and slid them toward the ends. As her hands moved, her protective shield curved back until it was flat and then concave, focusing and reflecting Bandon’s attack back on himself. He released his spell and pulled at the bothersome staff instead. Merry infused it with white power and let go, letting it fly to his hand, where it burned him and he dropped it, cradling his smoking hand. He snarled at them and disappeared. 

Merry stared after Bandon, breathing deep and shaking.

Allanon stared at her and climbed to his feet. “Your lightning healed me,” he said, confused. He rushed to her and pulled her sweater sleeve up, revealing Druid brands. “You’ve been a Druid this whole time. Have you been laughing at me? Where have you been all this time? The world almost fell to chaos twice in the last century and you were nowhere to be found,” he shouted, angrily.

“I was a Druid. I’m not anymore.” Merry’s eyes were still focused down the road and her voice was strained. 

“There isn’t a choice! If you’ve been called, then you’re a Druid and there’s nothing you can do!”

She rounded on him and shouted, “I quit! Druids are selfish, manipulative, arrogant assholes who lord their powers over all the races and demand obedience in everything they say. Even when they don’t know. Even when they’re wrong. I renounced everything it meant to be a Druid and that was the day I felt free. That was the day I found the missing piece of my soul. I hate everything about what the Druid Order stood for. I hate everything about you!”

“What have I done?”

“You ask me that when we were just attacked by the product of your selfish, cowardly manipulations!”

“Bandon was overcome by the Dagda Mor. I tried to stop him but-”

“Don’t lie to me! Don’t lie to yourself! I know the truth. The cost of my magic is emotional. I saw what you did to him. I felt everything. You did this to that poor boy. All of this is your fault.” She took a shaky breath and pressed her hands to her forehead. “I need some time and quiet to calm down. If you say one more light-cursed word I swear I will kill you.”

She started to walk away. 

“I tried to help him.”

Merry drew a Druid knife from her skirt and slashed at him as it extended. He dodged back and she came at him again, her eyes dark with anger and her mouth set in a hard frown. He kept retreating and leaning out of the strikes, but she wasn’t giving up and she was going for his throat and leg veins. He finally drew his own blade to start blocking. He intended to let Merry wear herself out. 

But she counted on his defensive fighting and ignoring the lethal openings she left, pressed her attack until she was able to reach inside his guard with her free hand and set her palm on his forehead. White energy sparked where her hand touched him and he gasped. 

“I will not let you go until you understand what you did.”

They both re-lived Allanon training Bandon, from Bandon’s perspective. How he was completely untrained and yet Allanon pushed him to search for the Dagda Mor with his magic. 

“Why did you send an apprentice against the Dagda Mor?” she asked. “You did not teach him how to defend against mental attacks. You gave him no weapons and no defense and threw him against the most powerful Druid in history.”

Allanon fell to his knees when the Dagda Mor invaded Bandon’s mind and trapped him in the henge. The boy had been almost immediately overtaken by the darkness. “You feared the Dagda Mor and so you hid behind this boy and sent him to do what you didn’t dare. You knew he was weak and lonely and you pushed him, knowing he would destroy himself rather than walk away. And you dare blame him for being weak.”

Tears flowed down Allanon’s cheeks as she forced him to watch the darkness in Bandon manipulate the elf girl and kill to escape Arborlon. She released him and stared down at him coldly.

“It is my fault. I was weak. Not him.” He clutched her skirt and buried his face in her legs, sobbing. 

His honest reaction slowly soothed Merry’s anger. Even when she was ready to talk she waited several more minutes before kneeling down to comfort him. He let go of her skirt as she moved. When she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, he hugged her back and resumed his sobs. When he started to calm down and breathe more evenly, Merry said,

“It’ll be okay. There’s still hope for him.”

“Hope?” he asked, his gruff voice extra raw. 

“It’s a small chance, but with me, it is possible to remove his darkness.”

“Thank you.” Allanon hugged her tightly in gratitude. “I’m sorry.” He wiped his face and she helped him up. He was aware that she was still a little cold towards him, despite her comforting. “If he’s already learned astral projection, he could be anywhere. I’ll need to search for him.”

“He’s not far.”

“How can you tell?”

“I can smell his darkness like a hound can smell wolves. He’s this way.” She picked up her pack, hesitated when she saw the roses scattered on the ground, and walked on down the road, leaving them behind. 


	4. Chapter 4

They walked in silence the rest of the day. Merry was trying to convince herself that Allanon had shown remorse and could change. She debated whether it would be better for everyone if she separated ways and sought Bandon on her own. Allanon knew the boy’s abilities better than she did, and she kept coming back to the idea that Allanon had as much right to redeem himself as Bandon did. 

Allanon was still recovering from his emotional trial. He’d experienced visions before, and they had all taken a toll on him, but this had been much more intense and intimate. He had never known how others saw him, and to have the worst part of himself brought out and forced onto him had been hard. He tried to remember when he became that way and thought of how he’d perceived the Druids when he was an apprentice: all-knowing and powerful. It had been his attempt to fit his idea of what a mature Druid was that made him overconfident and unapologetic. 

He didn’t think Merry would be interested in his revelations and decided that the best course of action would be to look forward and not back. How could he change to prevent this tragedy from repeating itself, and perhaps heal the perception of Druids? Many of his friends and close acquaintances had called him manipulative, even recently.

They made camp and ate some of the fresh rations Merry had bought at the inn. Allanon went between staring into the fire and watching Merry ignore him and thought it was curious how so much could happen in one day. He had awakened that morning to a half-drunk Merry cuddled beside him, and now she avoided looking in his direction. 

In truth, she was trying to figure out a plan to confront Bandon, and how, if at all, Allanon might fit into those plans. 

“I want to thank you for what you did today,” Allanon said.

Merry broke from her thoughts and looked up. 

“You’ve given me a new perspective on myself and given me a new purpose. And hope. I had meant to find Bandon and remove the danger he posed to others. Kill him, even, if it became necessary. But now I know I need to redeem myself for making him what he is, and I can only do that if I save him. 

“I thought that people feared Druids because of the power we held. You have shown me that it is how we used our power that made people fear us. I wanted to spend the end of my life restoring the Druid Order. But maybe I am meant to redeem it. Maybe this is why I was meant to find you.” 

“That would be a noble use of your life,” Merry agreed. She remained somber and looked into the fire when she was done talking.

“I imagine I will remember more of my mistakes and my list of regrets shall grow.”

Merry nodded, still staring into the fire.

“But tonight I regret not kissing you this morning when I had the chance. Now that you hate me, I doubt I’ll get such a chance again.”

An idea popped into Merry’s head and she looked him over. “Just because I hate you doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kiss you.”

He looked at her, confused and hurt at the admission of her hatred. “Are you mocking me?”

Merry circled the fire and surprised him by straddling his lap and sitting, facing him. “Have you never heard of angry sex?” she asked. “I can barely stand to look at you. But I don’t have to look at you to kiss you.”

Allanon couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of intimacy without affection. “Why would you kiss someone you hate?”

“You are a very attractive man.” She leaned forward but waited, just inches from his face. 

Allanon decided it was worth the risk of being a joke and kissed her. She immediately opened to him and he gently pressed her lips with his and probed with his tongue. Her hands stroked the stubble on the back of his neck and brushed through his hair. He held her close and massaged her back. 

Merry broke away to catch her breath and he ran his mouth along her jaw and kissed her neck. “Sweet Mother, you are a good kisser,” she said. 

He pulled back to look at her. “I want to kiss your brands.”

Her eyes searched his face and then she turned around on his lap and pulled off her sweater, and then her long sleeved shirt, leaving her short halter top on. He took her left hand and lifted it up and kissed each mark on her skin, working his way from her wrist to her shoulder. Like his, her brands covered her back. He kissed from her shoulder down to the small of her back, lifting her to her knees so he could reach, and then back up to her other shoulder and down her other arm. 

“Your brands don’t go up your neck,” he remarked. When he’d moved her hair to kiss her shoulders, he’d noticed. 

“No, they don’t. They go down my chest.”

Allanon’s heart pounded as she reached back and untied her halter and dropped it to the side. She turned back around to face him, chest bare. The brands seemed to flow down her shoulders and rest on the top of her breasts. Without the halter to support them, they hung a couple inches lower and lay a little flatter. Merry smiled apologetically at them. 

“You should have seen me a hundred years ago. They were magnificent back then.”

“They’re magnificent now,” he said as he leaned forward to devour them. 

Merry’s eyes rolled back in her head and her hands scratched and gripped the shoulders of his coat as he worked her breasts. “Mother, the things you do with your mouth!” she gasped. She was growing wet and was grinding against his chest awkwardly as he was bent forward against her. 

Merry pushed him back to kiss him fiercely and put him in position to grind his pelvis properly. One of his hands traced the brands on her back and the other stroked her rear. She was trying to remove his coat but couldn’t figure out the latches. She broke the kiss with a frustrated growl and tugged at the fastenings. “How do you take this off?” she demanded. 

Allanon smiled at her and enjoyed seeing desire in her eyes. “What happens when I take it off?”

“I’m going to take your pants off if I have to burn them off,” she said.

“And then?”

“And then I’m going to fuck you silly.” She leaned back on his lap and stroked one breast and slowly worked the other hand inside her skirt’s waist band. 

His body responded to that, but he didn’t move. “And then what? Will you forget my name, too?”

Merry leaned forward to press her forehead against his, holding the back of his neck and slowly dry humping him. “Allanon, if you fuck half as good as you kiss, I’ll never forget you.”

He teased her by brushing her lips but rolled her onto her back without making real contact. He left her on the ground and stood, slowly unbuckling his gloves and coat and sliding them from his body. She sat up and helped him take off his boots as he untied his pants. When he was naked, she raked every inch of his hairy body with her eyes. 

“You’re one hell of a beast,” she said. 

“I’m a hungry beast.”

“Hungry for what?”

“I can wait.” He knelt next to her and started to untie her boot laces. She leaned forward to help, but he gently pushed her back down. “I can do this.” He pulled each lace from its hole, looking up to watch Merry grow more and more impatient.

“I need you now,” she complained and reached up to take off her other boot. 

“Not yet.”

He pulled the string completely from the boot and dropped it before reaching down and sliding her boot from her foot. He kissed her knee and set her foot on the ground and then began untying the other boot in the same way. Merry groaned and lay there, feeling the pressure from her boot release inch by inch until that leg had also been freed. She tugged at her skirt but his hands caught hers and he held her wrists in one large hand as he slowly pulled her skirt down her hips with the other. 

Merry endured the agonizing sensation until finally he pulled the skirt aside with a smug, satisfied smirk. He laughed in surprise when she lunged up and knocked him over, uncomfortably close to the fire, and straddled him again. 

She was working him into position as he tried to scoot away from the fire. “Wait,” he said. “I wanted to do something first.”

“Too late,” she said. “You made me wait too long.” She sat on him and put his hands on her breasts. He squeezed and cupped her as she started to ride him, both of their eyes closed. “Oh, I’m close,” she said.

“Me too.” 

Suddenly she was off of him.

“What is it?” He was rock hard and his balls were starting to throb. 

Merry was on her hands and knees, and her brands were starting to glow white while lightning gathered in her fists. “Summon Druids Fire and fuck me!”

“Are you sure?”

“Do it!”

The flood of magic when he summoned Druids Fire to his hands almost made him finish, but he contained it and entered her. He was afraid of burning her with his flaming hands, but nothing happened to her glowing back when he accidentally touched her to steady himself, so he gripped her hips firmly and started to thrust. He felt everything more intensely as the magic coursed through him. He’d never held the Fire this long before feeling its effect and the tiny, rational part of his brain that couldn’t turn off, even while he had the most sensational sex of his life, wondered if the healing effects of Merry’s magic were countering the harmful effects of his. 

They grunted loudly as they reached the climax and roared loud and long when they completed. His fire engulfed them and her lightning turned the world white. Allanon came back to his senses half lying on top of Merry, and saw that both of their brands were pulsing the same white with red edges. Merry wasn’t moving and he sat up to feel her pulse. It was pounding as fast as his was and he kissed the back of her neck before laying back down and falling asleep, legs still entangled with hers. 

 

“You two are worse than rutting pigs in heat,” Bandon said, standing over them. 

They woke quickly, but struggled with their exhausted bodies to stand. Allanon tried to find his sword but couldn’t remember where he’d put it. Merry stood and shook her head to clear it and focus on Bandon.

“I was planning how to trap you two and get revenge for my hand,” he held up a stiff and burnt hand, “And then I heard you two screaming through the trees. And if I had any doubt where you were, you lit the forest up with your magic. And here you are, groggy and tired. Defenseless.”

Bandon sneered at Allanon and threw dark lightning at Merry.

“No!” Allanon shouted, stepping forward to try to protect her, but stopped when the lightning simply disappeared when it touched her. 

Bandon looked at his hand in disbelief and shot a bolt at Allanon. It too, disappeared without harming him. While Bandon had his attention turned, Merry leapt forward and grabbed Bandon, pinning his arms to his sides. 

Her brands started to glow white and red and Bandon screamed in pain. “Let it go, Bandon,” she said. “The darkness is not you. Let it go and I’ll burn it away. You’ll be free.”

“No!” he screamed.

Merry’s brands grew brighter and brighter until Allanon had to shield his eyes and could barely make out Bandon’s shadowed form within the light. 

“Let the darkness go,” she said one last time before the light enveloped Bandon completely. As it faded and Allanon tried to see through the flash image, Merry carefully guided the unconscious Bandon to the ground. 

“Did it work?” Allanon asked. 

“It worked,” she said, trying to find a pulse or breath on the boy. “Did he survive?” he asked. Her head was on his chest and after a moment, she smiled. “It’s faint, but his heart’s beating. He let it go.”

“You did it!” Allanon grinned. He dropped down next to Merry and hugged her tight. “Thank you!”

She patted his arm and said, “I’d like to get dressed before he wakes up.”

Allanon was thrown off by her practical manner. “Oh. Of course.” He followed her lead and also dressed. 

“Check on him and I’ll set up the tent.”

“I thought you didn’t want to unpack it.”

“I have a feeling we’ll be here a couple days.” She looked at Allanon. “This wasn’t easy on him.”

“I know.”

While she cast the spell that unfolded the tent and pulled it upright, Allanon fell into thought, occasionally casting small spells and watching his brands glow white and red, and even more significantly, not receiving the painful cost of the spell. 

“Merry,” he asked once the tent was up and she was inside straightening things. “Did you know that combining our magics would make us immune to his attacks?”

“I thought it was worth trying.”

“So you tricked me into having sex with you?”

“I didn’t trick you into anything. We both knew what we wanted.”

“You should have told me what you intended.”

“Maybe you should remember this feeling for the next time you withhold information from your teammates. If you think about it, you’ll realize that I needed you to commit, and you wouldn’t have been able to do that if you were thinking about Bandon.”

“So none of it was real?”

Merry hesitated. “If it hadn’t been real, I don’t think it would have worked,” she finally said. 

Allanon stepped closer. “Do you have feelings for me?” He probed her mind, just in case her guard was down. It wasn’t.

“Most people have to trust the word of others. You are going to have to accept what I say like a normal human.”

“Then at least be honest with me.”

“Honestly… I have too many feelings for you. I can’t give you a simple answer because right now I don’t understand what I feel. I despise you and would be perfectly happy if you walked out of here and never came back, but I’m afraid I might regret letting you go for the rest of my life. I’m very confused right now and all I can do is focus on Bandon.”

Allanon had hoped her answer would help him decide his own feelings. He felt very strongly for her, but rationally could not admit that someone could fall in love in such a short time. He needed her to say it first. 

“Bandon needs to be our first priority,” he said. 

Merry nodded and turned to finish preparing the small bed near her herbs and salves. Allanon grabbed her waist and pulled her close, kissing her deeply until they were both a little aroused. He left her breathless and went outside to cool off and check on Bandon. 

Merry leaned against the table and shook her sweater to cool down. She certainly couldn’t ignore their attraction to each other. She cursed him and tried to finish preparing a space for Bandon while being distracted by her humming body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to keep going, with the connection they created causing them to be physically addicted to each other and the sexy complications that would ensue and the question whether the feeling would pass or whether they were feeding it with the sexy times. And that Merry was Eretrea's mother with a Troll father to explain all that. Remember, I haven't read the books. But I couldn't find another story arc to hang all that on, besides chasing Eretrea and Wil after their escape, so I'm going to end it here. If enough people request it, I might post what else I have written, but it won't end as cleanly as this.


End file.
